Get in the Mood

I've come across this exercise while documenting for this website and I find it very useful, not only for women who have trouble reaching orgasm, but also for women who want to get in touch with the subtle feelings their vulva can produce.

The exercise is successful if after performing it the woman feels like she's more comfortable touching her vulva and is more aware of the feelings it can give her.

The key to achieving this is not to do the exercise to get aroused, to obtain sexual pleasure, not to have an orgasm, but to get the connection between brain and body running.

To do the exercises you will need a towel or an old blanket and lubricant. You should choose a lubricant that is either petroleum, natural oil or water based. The petroleum and natural oil based lubricants are only safe to use on the vulva, not inside the vagina. Also, when choosing such a lubricant make sure that it doesn't have any added color or scents because it might irritate your vulva. I'd choose a water based lubricant because they're the safest. The thing is that they tend to dry up quite quickly. You can keep a bowl of warm water to re-lubricate it when it gets sticky. Also, if your vulva gets irritated easy you might want to use surgical gloves.

Next you need to engage an activity that you enjoy and that keeps you focused. This activity should last at least 30 minutes. I suggest looking at a movie or surfing the Internet. You can perform this exercise either lying in bed or standing on a chair.

The most appropriate is to take off your clothes but if that doesn't make you feel comfortable you can dress in a way that allows you to touch your vulva. Now put the towel or blanket beneath you. You do that so the lubricant doesn't come in contact with the chair or bed you're sitting on. It's also recommended that you turn off your phones and pagers, you don't want any interruption while performing the activity you chose.

When you're ready and sitting comfortable apply lubricant to your vulva. You should apply a generous amount of lubrication because you want the vulva to be dripping wet. Now start the activity you chose. Relax and focus on that activity.

Now with one hand start touching the outer side of your vulva in a casual way. Hold your vulva in the cupped palm of your hand, play with your pubic hair, explore the shape of your vulva with the tips of your fingers. Don't use sudden movements or fast strokes, move as slow as you can.

It's very important to keep your hand in a permanent contact with your vulva. It is also very important to be focused on the movie or Internet or whatever you chose to do and not on your hand and vulva.

Your goal is to be as little aware of the hand paying with your vulva as possible. The thought about the hand touching the vulva should be at the back of your mind and you should pay attention to the action you are performing rather than the caressing motions you are doing.

Don't focus on a motion of the hand that makes you feel good, keep concentrating on the movie or Internet. You must not pursuit arousal or orgasm. If you get aroused just keep it at a low level, don't add more stimulation. If you do add more stimulation you'll soon be finding yourself focusing on your vulva and not on the activity you are supposed to be engaged in. I know this is hard, but with a little exercise you'll be able to do it.

Try to do this exercise as often as you can. Besides the fact that it will make you aware of your vulva and the sensations it can give you it will also allow you to make time for yourself and relax while performing an activity you enjoy.

The ultimate success of this exercise is achieved when you can focus on the activity for the half hour (or more) and at the end of it you find your hand caressing your vulva. You must also be totally comfortable with it, not start thinking “Now I'm doing this or that to my vulva.” or “I wonder if anyone else does this”. It should not only be a means of relaxation, but also a habit, your second nature.

I'm sure that, in time, you'll learn and experience ways of touching your vulva that are the least noticeable and the most pleasurable.

If you goal is however to achieve orgasm, this exercise will be helpful, because you know you need arousal to get an orgasm. And if with this exercise you learn to arouse yourself and maintain it you'll be able to “learn” how to have an orgasm much easier.

I'm sure you know that the more you struggle to have an orgasm, the further it seems to go.

If it's necessary your partner can stay with you while you do the exercise but he should not distract you or make you do things you don't feel like doing just for his pleasure. Remember, it's about you and your pleasure, not about him and what he wants.

Another thing I want to talk about in this section is the importance of a good blood flow to the genitals in achieving sexual arousal and orgasm.

Let me explain.

Just like men, women need a good blood flow to the genitals to get aroused and experience orgasm. While in men good blood flow is vital if they want to have an erection(not to mention a good and hard one) in women a good blood flow ensures arousal and a proper lubrication of the vagina.

Even if arousal starts in the brain blood is the carrier of chemicals without which the indicators of physical arousal would not occur.

When women have a poor blood flow to the genitals she will most likely have trouble in getting aroused and having orgasms. The increased blood flow to the clitoris and vulva are the “main ingredients” to clitoris and vulva sensitivity and vaginal lubrication.

Women and men are not as different as one might think. You know the principles that are used in penis enlargement programs? If not just take a look at the Alex Oprescu Recommends page on this website.

Well, for the penis to be enlarged and to become more sensible to stimulation bigger and bigger amounts of blood must be trapped in it.

With women it's just the same. In order to obtain a greater sensitivity the more blood must enter and stay in the genitals. In women blood engorgement is achieved when the genital area is stimulated. Why? Simply because more blood enters the genitals and “expands” the blood vessels and erectile tissue.

This doesn't mean that the clitoris and vulva will begin to grow as the penis does after penis enlarge exercises. The size and shape of the labia and clitoris are determined by genetic factors not by stimulation.

Now that we've talked about the importance of a good blood flow to the genitals let's talk about other ways to get that blood going south.

Sexual dysfunctions can be treated with FDA approved clit pumps.

If in the past a satisfactory response was present, good results can also be obtained with Viagra

Sexual fantasies also help improve blood flow to the genitals

Physical activity also makes the blood run better