Sex On The Move
Forget the bed, you need to add a blast of nitrous oxide into your love life. It’s time to trade that squeaky mattress in for a high-octane blast of intrigue and excitement. Take your love life to new heights and new speeds, with these great places to get your freak on while you are in motion. So read on, and get set to surprise your lady with sex on the move.
1. The Pick-up Truck
There is a reason all the good ol’ boys drive pick-ups, it’s because they are great places to have sex. Besides the obvious back of the truck – known as the bed – trucks tend to have a lot of space between the steering wheel and the seat. This is important if you want to engage in an activity other than driving. Trucks also have bench seats, and that seat can be slid back. This allows for two people to sit comfortably – on top of each other – behind the wheel. Give it a try sometime, and make sure you find a road with lots of potholes to run over.
The car is also a popular place for having sex, but may not seem that spicy at first glance. But never forget that most of us had sex in the car when we were in our teens, and you can never dismiss the appeal of nostalgia! Your lover may not want to do it roadside, so try doing it while you are driving. The steering wheel can be a hassle, and be extra careful around that stick shift!
The mile-high club is not for everyone, but if it is your thing, check out: www.milehighclub.com. According to their site, “The term “Mile High Club” refers to two people engaging in sexual activity (sexual intercourse) at an altitude of no less than 5,280 ft (a mile high above the earth) in an airplane.” So many people want to do it above ground that there are now charters and major airlines offering you a chance to join the club ‘legally.’ Although going this route may eliminate the danger element, it might save you from an embarrassing moment.
But if you are renegade and like the challenge, you may want to do a little planning in advance. The flight should be a night flight, any ‘red eye’ between major cities. The crew is usually less attentive, and the rest of the passengers should be sleeping. Furthermore, the cabin lights will be nice and dim. After the last meal is served and the movie is over, make your move. One of you goes and finds a nice quiet bathroom stall, and the other follows a few minutes later. Then, barring any heavy turbulence, you should be able to fill out your membership forms before any curious passenger knocks on the door. Another advantage of doing this on a night flight is that if you get caught chances are you will not become a public spectacle for the remainder of the flight. The stewardess will let you off easy – this time.
For the extra-adventurous, try joining the 30-foot club. In order to qualify, you must have sex in the aircraft while it is on the runway – good luck!
Train sex, more popular in Europe than America, is very exciting. Nothing beats throwing open the curtains and going at it while the French countryside flashes by. Give those grape-pickers a thrill! Conductors are always polite enough to knock before they enter, so you shouldn’t have any interruption problems.
Trains have always held a certain mystique, and James Bond helped to make them very sexy in the 80’s. The rhythmic rocking, trains going into tunnels, private bedroom cars, champagne – it all sounds pretty good. The private cars are a little pricey, but well worth it for the right lady. Just remember to leave those curtains open!
4. The Love Boat
Boat sex is very similar to train sex, except that – depending on the size of the boat – you feel like you are on God’s waterbed. Luxury cruise ships have all the amenities of a luxury hotel, so you may not get much in the way of a new thrill. You may want to downsize things a bit and go for a canoe or small sailboat. That way the waves will provide the rocking motion, and you get the ambiance of the wide-open skies and fresh air.
5. Skydiving Sex
Most skydivers claim that the rush of jumping out of the plane is better than sex itself. But what if you combined the two? Sounds like heaven to me! Check this photo out if you think it’s impossible: http://milehighclub.com/beyond.html. Don’t forget to pull that ripcord!
6. The Elevator
If you have ever watched “Fatal Attraction” with Glenn Close and Michael Douglas, you know exactly what I am talking about. There are two types of elevators – the cold, impersonal modern elevator and the sexy wood-slat freight elevator. Both work fine, but try the freight elevator if you can. The motion is less smooth, plus the voyeur in you will appreciate the fact that others can watch as you slide by their floor. Modern elevators, aside from being located in high traffic areas, tend to have security cameras. Nobody wants to get caught in the act, and chances are the security guards won’t let you finish up.
Whichever mode of transportation you choose – and we suggest you try them all – just make sure you don’t get killed. Ripcords must be pulled, traffic lights must be obeyed, and ‘fasten your seatbelt signs’ need to be heeded. We want you to survive so you can write in and tell us all about it – in detail!
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